Common issues faced by some black (Nigerian) women in inter-ethnic marriages

Photo by Désirée Fawn on Unsplash

Just as racism is a big deal across the world, in my country (Nigeria), ethnicity is also much of a deal. Although, I will not place the hate that comes with racism on the same level as the ethnic bigotry that is experienced in many parts of Nigeria, specifically when it involves inter-ethnic marriages.

The group that bears the brunt of this ethnic bigotry especially in inter-ethnic marriages is…, yeah! you guessed right, women!.

In many Nigerian cultures, it is generally discouraged for members of a particular ethnic group to marry someone outside that specific ethnic group.

For better context…

Photo by Kat J on Unsplash

“Let me breathe”

A poem on the pain and trauma of unrequited love

I heard you the first time

and the second time

and the third time

I heard you every time


Can you just let me breathe?

You’re strangling me with your words

You’re strangling my body

You’re strangling my mind

You’re strangling my soul

Can you just let me breathe?

I feel the punches and blows

I feel every strike and hit

I just have a request to make.

Just let me breathe.

I’m drowning in your sea of words

I hear all of your catcalls


The healing process after the loss of a baby or pregnancy could seem unending

Photo by William Farlow on Unsplash

I have decided to share major parts of my healing process because when I experienced my loss, I hardly found stories of healing by mothers with similar experience. I hope that through this write-up, someone finds succor in my process.

Firstly, I need to mention that I cried as much as I wanted to, I cried when I felt like, I cried anywhere, I just let the tears flow. Having established this, let’s delve into the healing process, at least some of the things that worked for me.

Acceptance: I am one of the “lucky few” that swiftly passed this…

The loss of a child is one of the many wounds that life and time never fully heals…

Photo by I.am_nah on Unsplash

Prior to my experience I had never heard of (or I had never just paid attention) to terms like “sleeping baby”, “rainbow baby” or you know other similar terms, until I had to deliver my stillborn baby at over forty (40) weeks of pregnancy and boom!, these expressions suddenly appeared in my “personal register”.

To have a stillborn baby is to have a sleeping baby. To have a sleeping baby is to have to endure the pains and pangs of labor knowing…

Firdaws Oyebisi P-Ibrahim

1.) Writer: Passionate, Creative, Versatile; 2.) Student: Current PhD researcher in Literature; 3.) Human: Woman

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